Of Course I Wrote

Of course I wrote
I thought that we were going somewhere
this world of mine and me
But she threw me off
like a bad bronc
into the age of older men
when I was still a child
in my mind
and proved herself unchanged

The same wars as my father's wars
and his father's
The blinder side of greed
when I thought I'd begun
to see something better
Grinding out instead
the same old product
better advertised
And I bought it all too willingly

And if that sounds trite
or too abused a use of words
it's because I found myself
an abuser like all others
When I should have been more
invested more
and owed more too
Came up bankrupt, dusting off
the grit of better things

It's enough, just to have been here
has to be enough
because it's all there is
My ride's been a good ride
right to the bell, but like I said
I thought we would go somewhere
and not just spin in place
It's left me dazed and staggering
tossed off among the scribblers