By the Numbers

Recently, 51% of Republicans polled
couldn't find 46% of one another's offices
A fact that, viewed by 36% of their staffs
was found 47% accurate, leading to
missed lunches
bad haircuts
marital infidelity
and a persistent eye twitch

On the other hand, 16% of Democrats
regarded 22% of Hispanics
to be 11% underpaid
on Tuesdays
or perhaps Thursdays
with 19% undecided
and of the remaining 65%
12% unavailable for comment

According to the National Polling Association
57% of the pollsters were unable
to locate the tip of their noses
in a dark room
with nearly 50% of the remainder
needing three tries
All agreed, that a 3% margin of error
was unacceptable 73% of the time