Poem: Of Course I Wrote

This is the poem that came closest to being my life, but for a personal leap of faith.

Of Course I Wrote

Of course I wrote
I thought that we were going somewhere,
    this world of mine and me
But she threw me off like a bad bronc,
    into the age of older men,
    when I was still a child
    in my mind
    and proved herself unchanged

The same wars as my father’s wars
    and his father’s
The blinder side of greed,
    when I thought I’d begun
    to see something better
Grinding out instead
    the same old product,
    better advertised
And I bought it all too willingly

And if that sounds trite
    or too abused a use of words,
    it’s because I found myself
    an abuser like all others
When I should have been more,
    invested more
    and owed more too
Came up bankrupt, dusting off
    the grit of better things

It’s enough, just to have been here,
    has to be enough,
    because it’s all there is
My ride’s been a good ride, eight seconds
    right to the bell, but like I said,
    I thought we would go somewhere
    and not just spin in the saddle
It’s left me dazed and staggering,
    tossed off among the scribblers
Poetry Collection: The Smell of Tweed and Tobacco
This poem is included in
Jim Freeman's
poetry collection


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